Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
