I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
operation have a gay friend backfired
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
