i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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