Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
