there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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