erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm like, not good at living.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
