I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
