A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
