connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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