Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
