yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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