I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
