Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
