my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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