Im at strip club and am horny
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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