eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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