PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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