Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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