she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
