no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
