The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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