His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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