Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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