i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
