There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
