he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
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I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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