im having a threesome with these popsicles
this boner is exhausting
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Let's paint friendship bongs
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
