Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize