you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
