My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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