This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
