I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
