the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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