Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
