walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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