Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
