I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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