it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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