She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
