lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The struggles of a small town man whore
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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