I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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