WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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