Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Are my feet made of real feet?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
