College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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