I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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