It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
