Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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