There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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