I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
