i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
