it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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