i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
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I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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