what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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