me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
