woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
