I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
