not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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