Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  just caught grandpa beating off in the living room

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  (619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room http://tfl.nu/3g7q
  Replies (128) Good night (8336) Bad night (61976)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

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  (914): Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex. http://tfl.nu/kgv4
  Replies (5) Good night (3075) Bad night (1398)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.

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  (801): i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one. http://tfl.nu/ahi8
  Replies (24) Good night (4103) Bad night (888)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.

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  (724): He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him. http://tfl.nu/jd1k
  Replies (23) Good night (3368) Bad night (890)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Where else am I to apply my creativity?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.

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  (303): Where else am I to apply my creativity? (1-303): I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start. http://tfl.nu/ttid
  Replies (5) Good night (3245) Bad night (938)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night

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  (715): woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night http://tfl.nu/5q0r
  Replies (10) Good night (8560) Bad night (1192)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me

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  (215): i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me http://tfl.nu/j6i2
  Replies (13) Good night (1500) Bad night (4023)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.

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  (314): You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important. http://tfl.nu/ehih
  Replies (18) Good night (2598) Bad night (2835)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.

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  (973): He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come. http://tfl.nu/tnjb
  Replies (2) Good night (2134) Bad night (1076)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.

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  (209): I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/cws8
  Replies (23) Good night (965) Bad night (3240)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club

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  (206): The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club http://tfl.nu/n7qr
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (827)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.

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  (520): You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee. http://tfl.nu/cxay
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.

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  (732): I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves. http://tfl.nu/qhy3
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (560)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.

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  (307): Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged. http://tfl.nu/ec83
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks

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  (937): she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks http://tfl.nu/aet8
  Replies (1) Good night (177) Bad night (330)

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