Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
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we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.