Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
