Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.