Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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