How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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